How these thoughts have been etched into my brain So stuck I can only hope they will eventually fade Everything about social constructs Based on the wrong ideas And the wrong hints That people dont even give off Overthinking too much and making that the truth Somewhere I do know I'm loved I am cared for Yet so many times I feel i annoy people Which most times is complete bullcrap

The doubt No space to breathe To have time and energy For the people I love I constantly say I feel bad And it's no lie, sadly It's all too much The tiny little rules in my head What is expected of me, What is wise I want to see more space I know there is I'm so used to these structures While they're all fake Phantoms I can't unsee anymore The constant fight to see through  The constructs that do not exist I crash constantly into  They keep me from telling the truth Let me believe I'm fine That I should be fine  Because of all the luck and skill I have  Others have it so much worse.  Just shut up for once It has gone so far that I can't cry with people around I can't panic Everything that's pure me I can only be alone with it I just wish I could show you The mazes I've got myself into Please Maybe One day I can cry In your arms If  You accept me I'm scared You wont  Or I will fuck up I'm so sorry Already If you only could...

One second I feel the world shifting Your smile makes my day Lets me feel how good the world can be The next I feel nothing It's like you're gone Like the feelings I had were all fake Never existed Afraid to act on sometimes none existing feelings I do nothing Too scared to scare you To ruin everything What's real and what was just a dream is not distinguisable It scares me I want to be honest about my feelings But i don't know whats reality Everything changes So fast Im so sorry