I'm reading Writing, and repeating Like it has a use, Will be my muse Feels so useless Clueless Talk not helping Everything fleeting Like a distance Melting into the floor Like I'm no vast entity Soaking more and more Blurry, no filter Everything The bubble expanding Nothing kept outside Gone when I grasp Think if I may Change is too fast Nothing to last Useless for me But no clue What it does for you For anyone

I miss the smiles And all the laughter The many opportunities For random conversations I miss having everyone So incredible close And max a week or two away I feel like I'm losing So many friends at once And have no energy To keep holding on We'll see each other again, Rather sooner than later I hope you do well Please stay safe

Back again here. It's just me and my own thoughts. I have no clue what to think, I have no clue how I feel. It's getting dull again. The enjoument of things seems to fade. That has been some time. I'm getting caught in the circles again. Thought spirals, sounds of inaccuracy. Time of not being able to trust my own thoughts is back. My feelings where finally coming back. I forgot this existed. As we forget many horrible events and feelings I guess. A welcome back is in order. Hi. Although I don't really like you, you are welcome. You have your own strengths. You must be here for a reason. You make me see only the scaredness in my eyes, only visible for me. You make me think it's so obvious. But nobody will know. Unless I tell them this part has surfaced. But I'm afraid it has no use. There's  always things going on. Can it just end sometime. The want of giving up is hard to push away. But I have to. Else it will overtake me. I'm just so tired....

Your faces in front of me Just makes me want to erase em I know I don't want to let go But It would be easier not to get homesick I turn back bitter I can feel it creeping behind me Even texting anyone feels rude Enough reasons not to pester them Stealing time from them and their loved ones Some sleep, some sanity Just knowing they don't feel the same Or feel like they don't care at all Maybe also afraid of giving someone the wrong idea As has happened many times before... He has found a loophole To make me alone To sentence myself to pure isolation Because nobody will miss me (which I've been told is a lie) Everything gets me wishing for better times Makes me intensely sad. I don't know if I can make it much longer