('you' is a potential partner in general. Past, present, future) You know why I don't wanna try to be in a relationship? Because it will be nice for a bit But I can never give you what you need. What you want, what you deserve. And at some point I will try. I'll doubt myself about it, and just put myself aside over it, telling myself I won't deserve love or a relationship if I don't do these things, be the perfect one for you. I will lose myself again. Its not that I don't feel anything.  Affection gives me life, I'm addicted to it.  Maybe that's why I deprive myself of it.  It makes me needy, do everything for it, if I'm not careful. And I don't think I'll ever fully enjoy it, a partnership. Always will feel lacking, because I won't feel the same as you.  I will never feel enough.  And I'll just shut down.  Too scared to talk about anything, because it will ruin the perfect image I've created for you. Maybe that's always ...