potential partners

('you' is a potential partner in general. Past, present, future)

You know why I don't wanna try to be in a relationship?

Because it will be nice for a bit

But I can never give you what you need.

What you want, what you deserve.

And at some point I will try.

I'll doubt myself about it, and just put myself aside over it, telling myself I won't deserve love or a relationship if I don't do these things, be the perfect one for you.

I will lose myself again.

Its not that I don't feel anything. 

Affection gives me life, I'm addicted to it. 

Maybe that's why I deprive myself of it. 

It makes me needy, do everything for it, if I'm not careful.

And I don't think I'll ever fully enjoy it, a partnership.

Always will feel lacking, because I won't feel the same as you. 

I will never feel enough. 

And I'll just shut down. 

Too scared to talk about anything, because it will ruin the perfect image I've created for you.

Maybe that's always what scares me when people fall for me.

I never fall for anyone. Never have. Afraid it will also never happen.

That's why I've tried before.

To be in a relationship. I don't think it's for me.

I don't deserve it.