selfimage

I'm not sure I'll be ever comfortable in my own body

Events feel like dress up parties,

Just to pretend I'm something I'm actually not sure of I am.

Like comic con almost.

Most of the time I just dress up to feel confident,

To be cheeky, as a jab to the rules or the 'standard'.

That does make me comfortable. In charge

It's weird to say, but I know I'm pretty.

Even when I look in the mirror now, I do am happy with what I see.

It took me years but I'm finally here

But it's strange. I'm not sure how I see myself in my mind's eye,

But it's not similar to what I see in the mirror. 

That's as much as I know

That's why I don't care if I paint my hair, wear a dress or a onesie, 

It does not change the fact that I don't have an image of myself in my mind. 

Maybe it's still that little girl that's stuck. 

Honestly, lately I've been telling new people that I dont care about if I'm called a girl or a boy, if people ask. 

Just call me she/her, because that's what I look like.

And what I'm used to. It's just strange.

Life is strange

Maybe I'll figure this stuff out someday.

Until then I'll just enjoy being pretty. It's a privilege. 

Well, I've been told it is. 

Maybe the world is just more fluid and most have been mashed and molded into their perspective boxes,

I'll just blob around :P