realisation

I've just come to realise

That how I used to be is bad

It's a miracle I'm still here

alive

I've always downtalked it

Held most crashes to myself

I just want to be better.

But

God

It was bad. That's not even a good word for it

Stuck

Stuck in myself, confined

I really want to come to terms with it

I think it's time to own up to how horrid it was

I used to pray so much

For God to take me away

I just don't know how to communicate it

Everyone I talk to about it, I don't want to worry them.

Maybe I should. 

I'm too strong for my own good. I'm done w that