I hate winter

Days like this

It's so hard not to hate myself.

The whole day I've been trying to be nice to myself

Trying to find stuff I'll get at least a bit of happiness out of

It works for a while. Quite long even today

I had enough energy and no responsibilities, 

That helps a lot

But now, I'm crashing hard

I feel like how I felt when I was a teen

Hopeless

Sinking into a dark pit

No way out,

And I rather don't drag others with me

So I close myself off

But it's not good

I'll just drown in selfpity, 

While nobody knows what's going on.

But it's so useless

I hate it so much

I start hating myself, again

And wonder, was all this worth it