Loneliness, it was not

 All these years, I thought what I felt was loneliness.

From deep inside me, like a piece that was missing. 

I still don't know what it is. 

I just feel like crying, wanting to be close to someone, 

and yet, I am so tired of human connection. 

A very fun contradiction in myself. 

Over the years, I have learnt that I am not alone.

I have so many great friends, and people that are close

Yet

momentarily I do not feel it. 

And that is okay. 

Just gotta deal with this feeling properly. 

And stay kind to myself

being okay with not doing much in a day

because feeling okay is worth more than feeling shit and productive