conflict

All I do is want to make you happy

While i know

I should make me happy too

I just...

I don't know what's wise

Now just everything good

Hurts afterwards

Every nice day or date

Afterwards I'm such a mess

Often even during

I don't want to

For you, but also me

It's such a conflict

I like you, I like this

I'm just so scared

It's not gonna work.

That it's not getting better. Even though everything tells me otherwise.

Maybe I'm just scared for next week.

The classes, the weekend w my parents,

The too many things I have to do

Which I don't know about yet

Maybe we should pause. 

To see if I have energy left,

After school and other socials.

And also maybe to give my mind some space

To just run and maybe let some puzzlepieces fall into place. 

I'm sorry