Different thoughts, one day

If I've been happy, 

I always want to apologise afterwards

Like somewhere my brain

Thinks that my happiness always costs someone pain

Every day

A little piece of me

Dies inside

I should take more time to mourn

And not pretend the pain's not there

Can I just go back to this afternoon

I was finally at peace.

Like I hardly am

It was insane

Apparently drowning in someone's arms

Is what I always long for.

I just don't know, if it's you specifically

It's so liberating 

Yet so heartbreaking 

To recieve an endless hug

That feels like you've been there forever 

So warm and so welcoming 

Thinking of it just makes me cry 

This is what I've longed for

And now it's breaking me

At least I know now

I can trust people

I can be comfortable around someone 

It's heartbreaking to myself

That I learn it this late in life

Now

Don't forget 

Not to be carried away too much 

I hope I won't break some people