_what even are titles_

Every compliment hits me
It moves me, in a good way
The bright smile on your face makes me smile
Everything that pains you a little, breaks my heart
You make me feel

Every slightest bit you show
Every bit of compassion, joy and care

I keep myself from falling
Because we do not have the same foundation
And I want to know all the differences
In my eyes you are something floating in space
I do not see the connections yet
Why you do what you do
What moves you
What makes you, you

It is all so vague to me

My fears
Worries
Everything
Withholds myself from falling

Before I know
I need to know
To some extend.

Just tell me everything you want
Show me all of you
Be intense

Show me
How the world looks through your eyes

You would be good for me
But yet so bad at the same time
You are the best thing ever, but I am too scared, concidering everything
Being just friends will hurt you
Being more would lay more responsibilities on me
Which I am not sure of I can fulfill

The conditions now are so dire
We can not even meet

I am so conflicted, you understand?
As much as I would like to say I like you, I should not
I would just lead you on, as my emotions change too quick to make anything of them.

I am not ready to make a commitment, to make plans with you for my future
As I just have seen a glimpse of you

I cannot make you fall in love with me less

I am just messed up and cannot make anything of my own emotions
So I think and think and conclude that this is no good idea
You got my emotions but not my rational
And if I try to convince him, I feel it goes bad.

As I say I do not want to hurt you,
I mean it.
It goes above my own hurt
My own thoughts
And at the same time
I protect myself from you. From falling
From failing
From ending up in spirals, caught again while I just escaped.
I am so scared to fall back there, now I have finally stabilized  a bit,
And am sort of happy with myself.